Saturday, June 27, 2009

What if

Would we feel any better about a pollitical leader who, after a sex scandal, came before the public and said "Yes, of course I had an affair. But this is really no problem, because my wife and I have practiced open marriage throughout our married life. "


unkleE said...

I reckon I would. At least there would be honesty (presumed in your hypothetical), which is a good quality for a politician! (But if I thought it was just spin - i.e. he thought this approach would minimise the damage - maybe not.)

I guess the question you raise is this: Granted we are all imperfect, which imperfections are most problematic for a politician? I think lack of honesty would be a bigger problem than lack of marital faithfulness.

Clayton Littlejohn said...

Better in some respects, worse in others. People in "open relationships" come off as a bit creepy and skeezy to me, but I suppose it's better than someone who cheats on his wife and lies to his family.


JSA said...

This happened with a business associate, and he blogged about it (he and his wife are both active bloggers). People definitely had mixed feelings about the whole thing, and then 2 years later she blogged about how she actually was NOT happy with the whole "open marriage" thing.

I've had several friends in the past who were in similar "open" arrangements and proudly related the fact, as if it was a badge of some higher level of relational maturity. Every single one of them eventually ran into serious emotional troubles and decided that the whole concept was not such a good idea.

So, on balance, my experience has led me to conclude that people who talk publicly about "open marriage" are deeply engaged in self-delusion and at risk of future turmoil. They aren't bad people (and I am not exactly a good person myself), but I think in 99% of cases they are masking self-delusion as self-awareness. And that definitely plays into making judgments about their character.